Wanted: Friends

Saturday, October 25, 2008

So some gals post personal ads for boyfriends when they're unsatisfied with the current state of their romantic relationships right? Well I'm posting a personal ad for friends. There, I've said it. I'm trolling for friends. Not like "casual encounters" friends cuz I'm all stocked up in the sexual satisfaction department. Just plain old friends. Just a few good acquaintances who could turn into good friends if all goes well. Not because I'm currently desperately friendless and alone, holed up in the dark with internet porn or anything like that. No, no. I've got plenty of acquaintances and a few really good friends. It's just that my friends and I have always sort of been on different pages in le livre de vie. When my peers were in college and reveling in all things Frat Boy and Spring Break-y, I was home raising babies and reveling in all things Barney. But now that my babies are getting older (12 and 10 respectively) and my social life is becoming viable again, all my friends have decided to up and have babies. I stayed in when they went out. Now I want to go out and they're staying in. I'm only 31 and 31 is far to young to be feeling the pinch of limited social options.

I'm not looking to get back to the aforementioned Frat Boy era of yesteryear. In fact, I thank my lucky stars I missed all that. I'm just looking for some mellow chicas to hang with on occasion. I'm actually quite fun, or so I've been told. Here's a bit about me: I read a lot. I write, though not nearly as often as I should. I really want to play with papier mache and paint. I'm learning to knit. I'm not fancy or high maintenance. I'll never own a Coach Bag. I am of the unwavering opinion that Thick is the new, improved, jucier and far more delicious version of thin. I'm bringin' sexy back. I'm in the throes of a love/hate literary relationship with Henry and Anais. I spend many, many hours bowlside playing Bettie/Skate Momma. I heart classic pin up girls. I love New York. I hate L.A. I only wash my hair once a week because the dirtier it gets, the cuter it looks. Sometimes I play dress up when I have the house to myself. I'm not really tech-y. I can play approximately 6.5 chords on a guitar. I have some blessed, new-found free time with which I'd like to do something socially and spiritually relevant, but - alas - to date I've been only a Slacktivist: all idea(l)s, no legs. I'm no good at mincing words. I'm no good at dancing but I dont' let it stop me. I drink my PBR straight from the pounder can. Even before it was trendy, I had a thing for scarves. I'm a good Momma and my kids are good kids. I'm a good little wifey and my hub's a great guy. My jokes are laced with wit and sarcasm. I smoke more than I ought to. There is no blouse on earth that can contain my cleavage so I've given up trying. I love camping. I like Scrabble, but I loooooove Upwords. I never remember the rules to card games. I never remember album/artist names. Tattoos make me happy. And so on, and so on, ad nauseum.

I'm looking for a compatible Pittsburgh-based female with whom to share some or all of the following: Happy Hours , Knitting Circles, Free Movies in the Park with kiddos, babysitting duties, bread recipies, occasional saturday nights out with our significant others, bad jokes, good books, ridiculous anecdotes on motherhood/housewifery, funny youtubes, 80's night dance-till-you-sweat-a-thon's, camping trips, beers and board games on the porch, a hand to squeeze when getting inked etc. Oh, and smart conversation, too; I like my women all nice and educated-like (but you must not condescend to me for opting to be Stay Home Momma for the time being. Oh, and you also can't tsk-tsk me for being kinda Tits Out sometimes because, if you've been paying attention you'll remember what I said about the cleavage.)

If this sounds like you, drop me a line. We'll go on a Girl Date!